Candy corn is one of the most divisive candies in the United States, sparking Twitter wars and numerous think pieces, like this one. If you haven’t had enough of the debate, read on for our takes. And to join in yourself, talk to us on Twitter.
Anti-Candy Corn
For the most part, holidays are pretty great. (Groundbreaking statement, I know.) They are often accompanied by days off work, rare stress-free moments with family and friends, and bomb food. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, some terrible traditions weaseled themselves into the best days of the year. On Thanksgiving, we eat turkey, even though we know chicken (and so many other better meats) exist. On New Year’s Eve, we stare at a screen–or withstand a frigid night in New York–to watch a ball slowly descend. But the most egregious tradition we tolerate comes in large bags in grocery stores every October: candy corn.
Why do we force ourselves to stomach candy corn every Halloween? No one is forcing us. There are no consequences to letting the vile, chalky, sugar creation fade into obscurity. Yet every October, we dump a bag into a glass bowl, set it on the kitchen counter, and slowly pick away at the candies until we’re freed by November 1st.
You may say the tradition lives on because people actually enjoy candy corn, but I am skeptical. If people enjoyed it, they eat it year-round. We don’t decide to eat Snickers only one month out of the year, because Snickers are scrumptious. No, we eat candy corn because a strange part of us is unwilling to let go of tradition, no matter how unpalatable it is.
–Rob Holland
Pro-Candy Corn
Let me start by saying I am eating candy corn as I type, a heaping pile of it on the table with a few of those larger pumpkin ones mixed in. What a treat. How exciting to have a candy that’s so seasonal, so filled with promise of fall leaves and kids in cute costumes.
Is it chalky? Yes! And that’s part of the appeal. How satisfying to sink your teeth into what first feels like a stale marshmallow, then let it disintegrate into sugar on the roof of your mouth. How delightful to delicately nibble away at each color, as I did as a kid, trying to determine if the white, orange, and yellow sections taste any different (I am convinced they do). Sure, people equate it to eating Play-Doh, but I counter with, why do you think kids try to eat Play-Doh all the time? Maybe they’re onto something.
It is true we fill glass bowls with candy corn, but that’s because it’s pretty. Who wants a bowl of wrapped mini candy bars when you could have a festive, color-coordinated bowl of fake corn? Not me. And not my mother either, who filled a crystal goblet with the candy each year, stoking my love for it and apparently fueling my brother’s hate. I don’t even know if she likes the stuff, but she’s never one to pass up holiday decor.
A survey from Mashable found that candy corn is the most hated candy in 21 states, including Wisconsin, where I grew up. “Candy corn is vile. I’ve hated it since I was a kid. Does anyone like it? It tastes like some kind of horrible tasting wax,” said one respondent, age 61. Well, considering her generation pretty much drove the country into the ground, I don’t trust her opinions on anything. “Candy corn is an abomination. Check the Bible. There’s like a whole chapter about it,” said a 33-year-old male. Now that’s just fake news. He probably voted for Trump. Then again, maybe the whole survey is a hoax, because just three years ago, according to another survey, candy corn was apparently the “candy of choice” nationwide. How do we even know what to believe anymore?? (Here’s how).
But I digress. If candy corn was so truly despised, why would 35 million pounds be produced every year? That’s about 9 billion pieces, in case you’re wondering, which in an entirely irrelevant but still entertaining trivia fact is enough to circle the moon almost 21 times.
In case you’re not a numbers person, here are a few other reasons candy corn endures:
- It’s delicious
- It’s adorable
- It’s only 7 calories per piece (take that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, the most popular candy in America with a whopping 87 calories per cup).
- It leaves that sticky film on your teeth and a slight ache in your belly, making you feel like a kid in the middle of a workday.
- It’s never advertised. Isn’t it great to get away from advertising for once?
- It’s not as bad for your teeth as sour candies or carbonated beverages.
- It has history! How many other candies were designed with farmers in mind, to look like chicken feed? How many other candies (unless we’re counting kettle corn, another favorite) were made by hand in a kettle back in the 1800s?
- And like Kelly Conaboy said in this hilarious ranking of Halloween candy (which I don’t agree with at all actually, but I’ll forgive her taste because she’s funny): “We have too much of everything all of the time now; I commend Candy Corn for its seasonality.”
Whether you love it or hate it, at least you’re thinking about candy corn now. And I bet today when you pass a bowl of it you’ll think, “well, maybe I should try it. What if I was wrong?” And you will take one of the tiny triangles, if only to prove to yourself it is as vile as you thought, and you will nibble away at the white, orange, and yellow sections, and whatever you think in the end, you’ll be stuck with a flavor that is unique to the time of year, and feel a little part of tradition this Halloween. You’re welcome. Just don’t go for the chocolate candy corn. That’s disgusting.
–Rebecca Holland
